I am a full-time professional Wedding Minister, Celebrant and Officiant.

My wife makes me watch all of the “terrible things that happen at Weddings” TV shows. I call them “Training Films”.

I have seen scientific proof that boquet + ceiling fan = salad shooter.

And that even a common textured ceiling has enough rough surfaces to

snag a fine silk thread on a garter.

Helpful tip 1: Don’t throw things into the air before you look and see if there is anything up there that you might hit.

May I have the Rings?

There seems to be an infinite number of pockets in a rented tux.

Men’s rings can be large and easily fall off a lady’s finger.

Lady’s rings are small and tend to make a man’s finger swell.

Every emergency room is equipped with a ring cutter.

The silk ribbon on a ring bearer’s pillow can be tied into a knot

that defies fingernails, knives, scissors, and small explosives.

Helpful tip 2: Spend a dollar on school supplies. Buy a zippered pouch that fits into a three-ring binder. The kind used for pencils or crayons.

Ask your Officiant to use a nice three-ring binder for your Ceremony,

where your pouch (with your rings in it) can be placed between the pages at the exchange of rings text.

I'm stuck!

Of course you want to be tall and beautiful in your Wedding Dress, so you must wear stiletto heels.

However, long pointy things, with force behind them, are commonly called nails.

Stone patios have spaces between the stones that can grab a heel like a bench vise.

Grassy lawns can let you sink almost to your ankles.

Helpful tip 3: Wear flats if there is any chance of falling or getting stuck. You can wear heels afterwards just for the photos, and later on the hard, smooth floor of your reception hall.

Your honeymoon could be over before it begins!

We all know that a Pennsylvania marriage license is valid for sixty (60) days. You have 60 days to marry and have your marriage license officially recorded.

Helpful tip 4:

Don't get your PA marriage license more than 40 days before your wedding. Your Minister has 10 days to return it, and allow another 10 for the Post Office, especially around Holidays, just to be safe.

Here's wishing you a perfect Wedding!

Rev. Doctor Mark A. Bernard, OM, P, R.H.D.

"The Weddin' Guy"