In the Hitchhiker’s
Guide to the Galaxy books
by Douglas
Adams, Almighty God appears on
another planet
and personally sends forth an
prophet to
spread His Word.
The chosen one
is devout and charismatic.
And also bit
hard of hearing.
In a few short
years, people all across the planet were
hearing the
sacred words of Almighty Bob.
In a Monty
Python comedy about biblical times,
people at the
back of a crowd were having
trouble hearing
the "Sermon on the Mount",
when one fellow
at the back says to the others,
'I THINK he
said, "Blessed are the Cheese Makers!"'
Let's face
it, sometimes you can be too
far away to
hear what's being said.
Many folks
(like me) have partial hearing loss.
What
do you do if you have more than 20 people
or
people with partial hearing loss at your wedding?
Simple.
A:) Find an officiant who can speak very loudly.
B:)
Find an officiant who can really yell.
C:)
Find an officiant with a PA system.
I am blessed
with a strong vioce and can speak,
sing or bellow
like a drill instructor when necessary.
And I
have a brand new PA system.
What
do you do if your site doesn't have power
to
plug things in?
A
& B Above OR
D:)
Find an officiant with a portable,
battery operated PA system.
Did I mention
that I have a brand new PA system?
It's a
portable, battery operated, high powered
amp with a
quality multi range speaker for
voice or music.
At 15 watts, this unit is
three times
more powerful than a
pistol-grip
bullhorn, but with far better sound.
This can be
placed anywhere up to 50 yards
away because
I also have a wireless transmitter and an
assortment
of microphones. And a mini CD Player
for CD
music. I have the two most used pieces,
"Here Comes
the Bride" and "The Wedding March",
also on CD.
There is a
$20.00 fee if you need me to use my equipment
at a site with
power. This fee may be waived at my option.
There is a
$35.00 fee if you need me to use my equipment
at a site without
power. The equipment uses a LOT of batteries.
About
note about using portable equipment outdoors:
I do a lot
of camping and take my music with me. There are some conditions
when CD players just won't work. In my experience, this
is usually due to extreme humidity, and especially bad when there is heavy rain, dew or fog.
I will make
every effort to insure that all equipment is maintained
and in good working order when I leave my home, and
is transported safely. All batteries will be tested and/or replaced prior to your ceremony. There may be,
at my option,
a secondary method available for playing music.
I cannot guarantee
the functionality of any equipment under open air (pavilions,
gazebos, etc.) and/or harsh conditions.
There is a
non-refundable $15.00 equipment setup fee included in the equipment fee. If for any reason my equipment fails to function, a refund of monies in excess of the setup fee shall be due.